


Wavering words.

by MisanthropyMuse



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bran Stark - Freeform, Jeyne and Jon are just mentioned, Jon Snow - Freeform, Letter, M/M, Rickon Stark - Freeform, Robb writes, Sad, lots of tears and sadness and regrets, romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:25:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisanthropyMuse/pseuds/MisanthropyMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because the things he had to say were all there, lumped at the bottom of his throat, choking him and waiting only for being melt in tears and written down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yours, endlessly

It wasn't difficult to sit down.  
It wasn't difficult to take out what he needed from the desk.  
It wasn't difficult to start writing the first words.  
The only problem was that it became difficult to breathe after a few moments of immobility.  
Because the things he had to say were all there, lumped at the bottom of his throat, choking him and waiting only for being melt in tears and written down.  
Jeyne gave the start, leaving the room closing the door behind.  
 _"Dear, dearest Jon,"_ Robb started writing _"your absence can't help being the thing I notice the most, these days._  
 _I missed you every day since we parted, every single day since you left for the Wall._  
 _I won't lie: I hated you for betraying me like that. I understand your choice only now, and I wish I didn't._  
 _I wish I'd followed you. I think I would have been happy, if I had dropped every responsibility to my House and followed you into the cold, taken the black and stuck with you for the rest of my days._  
 _But I had not. And every mile that stands between us is like the sharpest of blades plunged in my chest._  
 _It's a bit crazy if you think about it, because I can't know where you are at this moment. Maybe you've become a ranger and now you're miles and miles away from the Wall, chasing the wildlings in the deep of the haunted forest. Maybe you'll die there. Maybe we'll never see each other again. And maybe it would be better. Because I don't think I could stand another goodbye, and this time, now that I've seen what being a king is like, no one will be able to prevent me from coming with you._  
 _But I can't. I never could._  
 _There's my mother, there's my land, there's my realm, and there are my duties to my wife._  
 _Yes, you read it right. I got married._  
 _Because I'm an idiot fulfilled with honour and sense of duty._  
 _She helped me with my battle wounds, with my sorrow for Bran and Rickon, with everything I have to cope with down here._  
'I took her castle, and she took my heart' _, I like to say._  
 _I could say that I did it because I missed you too much, and that wouldn't be a complete lie._  
 _But the truth is, and I beg you to forgive me, that I'm weak. I'm just a boy who wears a crown far too heavy, and she's the kind of consolation I needed._  
 _And after I had taken her, and her virginity, the only honourable thing to do was marrying her._  
 _I'm sure you can understand that I had no other choice. I broke an alliance and our promise, because I'm too weak to be king._  
 _I can see judgment in the eyes of my entire court. Even Grey wind doesn't trust Jeyne and her family. But I do, and I do see kindness in her eyes, and, I have to say it, I do find peace between her legs._  
 _I know that you won't judge me, because I know there's, maybe, only my mother in the whole world that loves me more than you do. And there's nothing, not Jeyne neither the crown, nor my kingdom, that makes me happier._  
 _I'm trying to have a heir with my lady. She promised me a pair of twins. They will be Eddard and Brandon, but if I'll have a third one, I'll call him Jon, hoping that he will be just as beautiful, as clever, as brave and as lovely as you are._  
 _One day, when this war will be over and we will be back in Winterfell, you'll come visit us and you'll hold him in your arms, and I know that seeing you will finally give me the peace I'm starving for._  
 _I miss you more than home, more than peace, more than snow, because you mean all this and so much more._  
 _Whenever I hold Jeyne, I think of you, and every time I miss you more._  
 _I love you, Jon Snow. And my heart won't rest in peace until I have said it to you again._  
 _Yours, endlessly,_  
 _Robb."_  
Tears had dried on his cheeks, a few drops of salt water studded the paper, and the words were all wavering because of his shaking hands.  
He put it away and took another piece of parchment.  
Jon wasn't the only one he owed explanation and excuses.


	2. Yours, sincerely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A fewer tears this time, but a lot of rage more."

_"Dear Bran,"_ he wrote slowly. His hands were still trembling, his eyes were tearful again.  
 _"I can only apologise to you. I've been naïve and dumb._  
 _I have no excuses, no alibis, nothing that can hide my faults._  
 _I should have never left you, and Rickon, and Winterfell._  
 _I should have never let Theon return to Pyke._  
 _How can I call myself a king while I couldn't even be a proper brother?_  
 _You deserved a crown far more than me. You were more clever, more understanding, more merciful than me._  
 _And you were the best brother I could ask for._  
 _You know, when I first saw you, so little and red in our mother's arms, I almost cried._  
 _I was only 8, and the only male brother I had was Jon. I loved him, but some times we were too similar. Sansa was already boring, even if only 5 five years old, and Arya wasn't even able to walk. I needed someone to play with, to teach to, to follow my steps. I needed you, Bran. I understood that since the first time I saw your dark blue eyes open to the wonder of life._  
 _I, with Jon always by our side, taught you how to swim, to ride, to sword fight, and also the best way to steal something from the kitchens of Winterfell without being noticed._  
 _I saw you make your first steps in the Godswood, and I heard your first words. If I try hard, I can still hear your feeble voice saying "Robb" for the first time._  
 _I walked with you in your first summer snow, and I let you climb in my bed every time you were cold or you had a bad dream._  
 _I still miss those nights, with you and Jon both wrapped at my sides, and something like seven layers of fur over us._  
 _I still miss your tiny hands in mine, pulling me in the snow. I can't raise my eyes on a wall without thinking of you climbing up Winterfell._  
 _I will never forget how you never refused to smile at me, or the way your laughter could bring light even in the darkest days._  
 _I was proud to have you as my brother and heir. I'm sure you've made a great lord and prince. I know you did your best to keep Winterfell, and I don't blame you for anything._  
 _I blame the Gods for not keeping an eye on you, Theon for forgetting all the affection he had for you, and myself for leaving you alone._  
 _But you, my dear Bran, you were the best person I knew, and I'm sure that there will never be a better one._  
 _I broke every promise I made, but believe me on this one: I will avenge Rickon and you._  
 _I will stick Theon's head on a spear and let your direwolves feast on his body. I will name after you two new towers on Winterfell, and they'll be the tallest and strongest the known word has ever seen, just as the lords you never got to be._  
 _I will always remember you with a smile upon your face, and I will always love you._  
 _Yours, sincerely,_  
 _Robb."_  
A fewer tears this time, but a lot of rage more.  
Against fate and traitors, and that already-way-too-long war that was taking everything he loved away from him.  
He wiped away the thick, warm tears that were still hanging on his lashes with the back of his hand, and took the third piece of parchment.  
There were still something in his heart that had to be said.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic refers to a scene in ASOS where Jeyne tells Catelyn that Robb had spent the whole morning writing a letter he burnt then. I just couldn't help my feelings. This is one of the letters I like to think he wrote.  
> Thank you for reading. ♥


End file.
